Greetings, My Friends;
When a couple decides to get married, they usually don't anticipate many of the things they will encounter. They have only known each other as singles, even if they have been living together. They sometimes use the reason for living together as a trial run to see if they are compatible. What they don't realize is that it is usually a flawed test. They have more than likely been on their best behavior the whole time, so they don't get a true picture.
Depending on their ages, or whether they had been married before, the learning curve and its success can be quite different.
Each person in the marriage has a different personality, needs, wants, and ideas. To succeed, they must communicate with each other. Words are the key. They can produce all kinds of different results. When everything is going good, words come easy. Words of love are usually in the beginning, and everything is great. As problems come up and time goes by, a lot of words are a reaction to the situation. Words get exchanged, and usually a solution is agreed on.
More time goes by and maybe added stress. Words can become harsh. If the stress has been going on for a while, maybe an unkind or blaming word comes up. A normal reaction is to say something right back. Depending on how good the relationship is, one or both people may say the most hurtful things they can think of. A marriage can then be in big trouble if the hurtful exchange escalates, it may in the worst-case scenario cause a breakup.
You may think that if some kind words are spoken later, everything will be all right. Maybe. Sometimes, if the words and the anger that caused them are bad enough, the hurt can last for years. Even if there are no angry words, words can still damage a person on the inside. When words that demean, or criticize are spoken often enough, you create what you speak. If you say to your wife, for instance, "I can't believe how you can never do anything right", unless she is a strong person, she will become what you say.
Pride starts a lot of arguments, and brings up hurtful words. Think about the damage the wrong words create. It stands to reason, therefore, that if kind positive words such as, you sure are a good cook, or I love you, the opposite is true. If you use positive words in a sincere way you can have a fantastic relationship. When your spouse is bombarded with positive, caring, loving words, your spouse will react in kind. Choose your words carefully, because it affects more than just next 5 minutes. No problem is too big in a marriage where both parties treat each other with respect and love.
You may want to read 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Read it as many times as it takes to help you choose words.
God bless you and remember,
Prayer of Salvation;"Oh God in heaven, I believe with all of my heart that Jesus has been raised from the dead. I receive Your Word, and I repent of sin. I renounce the past. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus. I receive my forgiveness. I receive the new birth, cleansed and washed in the Word and in the precious blood of Jesus. Fill me with Your Spirit, in Jesus name. Amen."